Monday, August 25, 2008

Tension

I got a massage this morning. It was my second one ever, so don't think I typically pamper myself. I couldn't afford it. But I felt I needed to treat myself to something that would relieve some stress.

You see, I've been freaking out because it is now literally one week away from my move, and it feels like I've done nothing to pack, despite the fact that I'm almost completely packed. The issue is I have no stuff, so I keep looking at my pile of belongings and wondering what the hell I've been doing with my life. Literally all that I own could fit into a closet. It's kind of sad. Do I just throw things away or do I just not buy anything? And if I haven't bought anything, how in the hell have I been surviving?

But back to the massage...it was at Sir Spa, the mens-only spa up in A-ville. It's not a bathhouse, so there are no happy endings (pervs!). It's just a really nice, upscale spa, complete with a steamroom, amazing waterfall showers and a relaxation room full of magazines like Men's Journal and Men's Health and whatever else us gay men read. I highly recommend it to everyone (excpet for girls). I feel absolutely amazing and crappy right now. Amazing because my muscles are actually relaxed. Crappy because all the toxins my body had been storing were released, and it feels like I was on an all-night bender. Oh wait...

I was basically on a late-night bender last night. My life as of late has been weird. Very weird. I'm considering making a new blog to describe the weirdness in full since my mom knows about this one. That or I'm going to make a video blog that depicts me with a series of sock puppets to represent the various characters that have been floating in and out of my life as of late.

And all this is adding to the stress. My lack of routine, the move, my work...it's driving me crazy. And I feel like I continue to have less time for friends, and lately I've had little motivation for comedy (although that could be due to the fact that I just finished editing a movie I co-wrote and directed, a process which took well over 15 hours). But I skipped my first improv class of the new session yesterday, something I would never do. I woke up and wanted to go on a bike ride. And I didn't want anything to interfere with that. So I told myself that if I made it back in time I'd go to class. I ended up riding for about 40 miles, a total of about 2.5-3 hours of riding. Suffice it to say, I missed class. But the strangest thing is I don't care. And that kind of scares me.

I don't think that I'm losing interest in comedy. I think I'm just beginning to realize what it is with comedy that I want to do. I love making movies, I love my sketch group, I'm very excited about the show I got cast in. I think it's the combination of stress and ennui for the current improv program I'm in that is causing me to flake. At least that's what I hope.

God, I need another massage.

1 comment:

Nellie Ann said...

Ok, I realize I'm a little late to the game...but:

1) Now your mom totally knows that youre starting another blog so that you can talk about things you don't want her to know about.

2)Just like Meridith Baxter says on every after school special ever: "show us on the teddy bear what happened.."